Valentine's Day and me ^_^'

I’m sorry if I haven’t been posting lately. I was somewhat slacking off with watching at YouTube (which is something I shouldn’t be doing all the time). Alas, another distraction aside from the usual Facebook site. I’d say there’s nothing interesting going around my world, apart from the never-ending discussion on the ever so famous Manny Villar ads et al that, at first, never really gave attention of it until the very commercial becomes a parody of what the presidentiable would like us to see and believe. More about this on the next posts.

I’m writing again, probably because it’s a special day for couples and singles alike (and obviously I have enough the time to do this). Guys and gals, its… (ugh) Valentine’s day! *waves both his arms frantically*

*winds begin to whistle while the tumbleweeds rolled past him*

Though there are a lot of people making a huge fuss about it, in reality I’m not one of them for obvious reasons. First, this event never really got my attention aside from a sea of couples doing the “holding-hands-while-walking-without-a-care-in-the-world” thing, guys rushing to get their gifts to give their dates, and when every shop has roses, chocolates, and stuffed animals to sell (I thought I saw one Starbucks Coffee shop nearby offering all these a few days ago and that it actually surprised me more than annoy).

Second, this “hallmark” holiday made every mall, store and flower shop in the metropolis packed and the traffic is horrifying enough that I will remind to either lock myself up next time it happens or plan two to three weeks ahead to anticipate it. And third… I’m not interested looking for a date at the moment. Period.

A lot of people have been asking me this question lately, and every time I try to reason out and answer the question, a wave of decoys and random distractions follow to disrupt my fragile flow of thought. Now that I’m at a place far from my sweet Manila home, and that my internet speed would last me approximately around 5-6 hours of non-stop surfing (that I don’t normally do, unless if I’m at a café waiting for someone), I think I’m able to answer this post (I hope).

For those who don’t know, I chose to be single again because of the very reason that I am becoming more and more volatile when it comes to decision-making. In a perfect world, men are usually the ones who choose where to eat, when to hang out and what to do on a specific day when engaged in a relationship. And as what was written on my previous post, I’m not really that much of a team player and that whatever the decision in specific majority has been made, then I’m bound to accept it whether I like it or not. Sucks to admit that I’m only good in making decisions for myself, not considering what other people may think or feel about it. One of the not-so-good traits of growing up and swinging by myself.

Another thing is that I’ve grown accustomed to be by my own with my activities most of the time. I guess that also explains why my fields of interest are so…otherworldly to human society. Don’t get me wrong…I don’t mean that I’m not easy to be with, because I can go with the flow if I wanted to (wherever it’ll take me even). I’m probably saying this because I miss being with myself, and the kind of antics and misadventures I’ve had with my friends (who shares the same interests as I am). You can say that I miss the “light” side of me back in the days; compared to the somewhat neutral and at most times, the cold and condescending façade I would normally show to the rest of the world (I’m being polite here).

Based from these points I’ve mentioned, I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve still got a lot of growing up to do. I’ll be turning 27 in three months, yet I’ve got the mindset of a troubled (not to mention, delinquent) teenager. I need the extra time to re-evaluate myself and evolve into something more acceptable and capable in handling the trying times, so that the very person who I fervently pray for and I believe is destined to be and grow old with me will understand that I’m not doing this because I’m being selfish but the reason why I’m making these preparations is to become a better man, compared to that spineless fledgling before, and to the somewhat-unpredictable and underachieved fool that I am now.

I hope you don’t take today’s entry that I am one miserable, dateless being, because people who know me well enough would see me as an emotional person, not to mention a sweet and mushy one (I think). I guess that this would be my third attempt to do this entry, as the other ones were not what I was expecting turned out overly emotional. Either that, or it was too mushy that I had to stop every now and then just to smoke. Probably I’d go out again someday. But at the moment, I’m happy where I’m currently standing at the moment.

It’s Valentine’s Day. Couples, celebrate your unity and own each other to the fullest (depending on your definition of it). To those who are bitterly single (admit it or not), patience pays a lot in waiting. Trust me, it’s all worth it.

As for me? I’m single, no doubt not available for dating. But I never said anything that I’ll be celebrating it alone, have I? ^_^’