It’s been a while since I’ve gone all personal. Though I couldn’t deny the fact that all my works came from the eccentricities or the farthest sides of my reality, I’m beginning to find it hard to expose the very side of me that only a handful of people know (lately). After all, the very reason why these blog entries exist is to unravel my life’s, and probably other people’s, mysteries and for my ongoing quest to search for the orgasmic life. I guess it is okay for one to be weak and emotional once in a while, right? Anyway, read along if you will… just like before, feel free to express your thoughts and reactions towards this week’s viewpoint.
I’ve looked at http://www.dictionary.com for the definition of this word. No, I’m not stupid. It’s just that I’ve never given so much time and effort on finding out what this actually meant.
Friend - a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
When I was kid, my teachers kept telling my parents that I was really friendly. I could recall fragments of that timeline that I was all smiles, enthusiastic in meeting different people, and that all-positive attitude towards everyone around me, regardless of age and sexual preference. Probably it’s because those factors didn’t matter to me at all. As I grew up, I believed that a child’s heart is both a precious and fragile thing to hold on to, and it’s because of a very sensitive element that will become essential to every relationship he/she will undertake as they mature—trust. I still do grasp that kind of truth until now, by the way…
To those who don’t actually know, I learned how to choose my friends when I was on my third grade. I transferred to a different school where, even if kids play the same kind of games, the rules are followed differently. I was then segregated from the general norms and I was even bullied at one point because it is only I who believed that the earth is round and that it revolved around the sun (okay, I’m being figurative here, but you get the gist right?).
This…treatment (if you will) did not just take my smiles away, but every single thing that my teachers used to define me as well. I rewrote my entire definition of the word and lived through a different code. I’ve unconsciously made a fortress against this “normal” society and learned to only trust individuals who either share the similar, if not the same thought-pattern and/or interest, or those who proved themselves worthy of. Yes, I know I’m being judgmental and it’s a sad way of evolving, but what can I say? We’ve got to get by and survive in this harsh and somewhat just world, and there are different ways to live through it. I did these things, and decided on what I believed is right at that time.
I hope I’m not able to send the wrong message because at this very moment, I want to let everyone know that I love my friends, wherever they may be or whatever they’re currently doing.
I have to admit that I’m no longer the type who’d make a lot of friends, not because that I was traumatized from whatever pain or torment I’ve endured through the years, but because all I wanted in my circle are individuals willing to believe or go against my ideals for the purpose of seeking greater enlightenment on random topics and events. Though I’m neither dedicated nor affiliated in any specific group, I never really wished for anyone to actually process thoughts the way I do it, nor to fully understand why I react differently on any definite occurrence but just to accept my rarity as a human being—that I behave on a given stimuli is more than enough. Lastly, it’s true that I swing by myself most of the time, but it doesn’t mean that always unavailable. With today’s technology, I’m only an SMS away.
This post is dedicated to the people who, personally, have seen me smile, laugh, and even act stupid without me having a care in the world. This is for the carefully hand-picked few who never stopped believing in, with, and even against me. For the ones who I cried, shared secrets, trained and played games with, I want to thank you for still keeping up with me and my “volatile” self. All of you are playing a vital role in my existence, making this life—an interesting story to tell.
I end this week’s post… ^^,
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