After Call Work

And the Joker was right...

2010-04-06T04:14:00.000-07:00

Why so serious? This question kept on buzzing in my head since I started this unlikely charade of working like a bee, and studying at the same time. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not complaining at all. In fact, I wanted how this life’s set-up was arranged for me. I guess these series of work-related burn outs I’ve been experiencing lately made me wonder what I have been ignoring, and eventually, missing.

I have to say that I’m somewhat getting the hang of putting up a smile when faced with my daily dose of stress. Whenever I can, I try to laugh at every wacky moment there is, to distract me from every visible and unforeseen pressure in this pseudo-corporate world I currently affiliate myself with. But you’ll just have to pardon my random (and sudden) bursts of insubordination and sarcastic comments—because I, at the very least, am being humane (I’m being polite here, and I’d rather you don’t want to see my not-so humane side as well). Know this that I’m not being pretentious or anything similar to that kind of fashion because I try my best to be at my tip-top working condition, without losing my own mind (?!)—as much as I can.

Life, in its entirety, is harsh just as it is fair. We do everything in our capacity to make sure we can get by with our daily challenges. Yes it may be too much to handle at times, regardless of how much effort we exert to overcome or (in some cases) ignore it. But it does not necessarily mean that it has to be that hard. Our minds focus too much on this concoction of fixed and random goals that we’re forgetting the reasons why we exist. We beat ourselves too much at the beginning of the day, thinking that we’re making our sacrifices and immersing ourselves to do what we’re asked to do… But for what reason? Is it not to live? Is it not to provide a better life for our current (and future) offspring/s and loved ones? If it is so, then why do we have these times when we could not even appreciate the simplest things being handed or showcased to us? Is it a matter of satisfying our pseudo-obsessive selves? Is it to maintain our personal level of “security”? Is it because everybody does it? Somebody tell me, because I want to know.

This would actually be the first time I’ve ever agreed with a villain’s viewpoint, moreover, the first time I’ve agreed with the psychotic type. Does that make me crazy too? I don’t know about that. All I can say is he made a lot more sense than any idealistic plots there is thinkable. I’ll probably keep on asking myself this question until I find an answer. But I’ll share this question to you as well.

Why so serious?

On Friends (and a handful of people I trust)

2010-03-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I’ve gone all personal. Though I couldn’t deny the fact that all my works came from the eccentricities or the farthest sides of my reality, I’m beginning to find it hard to expose the very side of me that only a handful of people know (lately). After all, the very reason why these blog entries exist is to unravel my life’s, and probably other people’s, mysteries and for my ongoing quest to search for the orgasmic life. I guess it is okay for one to be weak and emotional once in a while, right? Anyway, read along if you will… just like before, feel free to express your thoughts and reactions towards this week’s viewpoint.

I’ve looked at http://www.dictionary.com for the definition of this word. No, I’m not stupid. It’s just that I’ve never given so much time and effort on finding out what this actually meant.

Friend - a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard

When I was kid, my teachers kept telling my parents that I was really friendly. I could recall fragments of that timeline that I was all smiles, enthusiastic in meeting different people, and that all-positive attitude towards everyone around me, regardless of age and sexual preference. Probably it’s because those factors didn’t matter to me at all. As I grew up, I believed that a child’s heart is both a precious and fragile thing to hold on to, and it’s because of a very sensitive element that will become essential to every relationship he/she will undertake as they mature—trust. I still do grasp that kind of truth until now, by the way…

To those who don’t actually know, I learned how to choose my friends when I was on my third grade. I transferred to a different school where, even if kids play the same kind of games, the rules are followed differently. I was then segregated from the general norms and I was even bullied at one point because it is only I who believed that the earth is round and that it revolved around the sun (okay, I’m being figurative here, but you get the gist right?).

This…treatment (if you will) did not just take my smiles away, but every single thing that my teachers used to define me as well. I rewrote my entire definition of the word and lived through a different code. I’ve unconsciously made a fortress against this “normal” society and learned to only trust individuals who either share the similar, if not the same thought-pattern and/or interest, or those who proved themselves worthy of. Yes, I know I’m being judgmental and it’s a sad way of evolving, but what can I say? We’ve got to get by and survive in this harsh and somewhat just world, and there are different ways to live through it. I did these things, and decided on what I believed is right at that time.

I hope I’m not able to send the wrong message because at this very moment, I want to let everyone know that I love my friends, wherever they may be or whatever they’re currently doing.

I have to admit that I’m no longer the type who’d make a lot of friends, not because that I was traumatized from whatever pain or torment I’ve endured through the years, but because all I wanted in my circle are individuals willing to believe or go against my ideals for the purpose of seeking greater enlightenment on random topics and events. Though I’m neither dedicated nor affiliated in any specific group, I never really wished for anyone to actually process thoughts the way I do it, nor to fully understand why I react differently on any definite occurrence but just to accept my rarity as a human being—that I behave on a given stimuli is more than enough. Lastly, it’s true that I swing by myself most of the time, but it doesn’t mean that always unavailable. With today’s technology, I’m only an SMS away.

This post is dedicated to the people who, personally, have seen me smile, laugh, and even act stupid without me having a care in the world. This is for the carefully hand-picked few who never stopped believing in, with, and even against me. For the ones who I cried, shared secrets, trained and played games with, I want to thank you for still keeping up with me and my “volatile” self. All of you are playing a vital role in my existence, making this life—an interesting story to tell.

I end this week’s post… ^^,

Time Crisis!

2010-03-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

Time. An entity in our lives that can only be measured by sunrises and sunsets. You may disagree with me when I say this, but I have little respect for it. Please don’t get me wrong, for I, if not minutes or hours early, am on the dot on my itineraries and engagements. I am making a constant effort not to make anyone wait as much as possible because without my proper channels for distraction, I only have a cupful of patience for these.

Back in my hey-day college episodes, a friend of mine once told me that time does not exist. For whatever purpose, I don’t know. It may be for the reason that for something beautiful to be simulated or created, it should not be measured as to how long it took to achieve it. Because in a world where dreams, ingenuity and inspiration is involved, one should wait for that moment and drown themselves into that unexplainable rush and let loose of any reality-bound responsibilities (if need be) to create, innovate and even revolutionize whatever that needs to be done. Let the journalists, doctors, scientists, military tacticians, economists, businessmen and politicians (?!) worry about it. At the moment I don’t think I need it. I believe we shouldn't burden ourselves with something we’re not absolutely in control of.

But no matter how hard I try to tread on that path (and as much as I hate to admit to this), I am bound and enslaved to this… void. Logic says that the faster you process something that is of respectable quality and quantity, the more productive you are. Thus the general public rush to wherever they’re supposed to go, as if their lives might be taken away if they’re seconds late. People count how much do they still have to spend for themselves—how many minutes left with lunch, how much longer until the next break, how many tasks and problems were resolved for the day. I can go on with this, but I hope my point is clearly taken that what’s left of us at the end of the day is a few hours to get back to our respective caves, and maximize it as much as we can so we can get ourselves be beaten down the following work day.

And the people we meet get duller and duller as the hours pass—no more time to see and appreciate how the sun shine (or set, for those who work at night). They’d rather maximize their sleep/relaxation time at the confines of their own homes, or even worse think about how heavy their work will be come Monday (when it’s just Saturday). Sucks to admit that I am a victim of this cruel phenomenon, because I value my time, free from all the worldly hassles as much as possible, and that it’s eating my hakuna matata way of living away because of this.

As I conclude my weekly blog entry, I don't want to create any form of confusion and be misinterpreted with this rant-athon. All I want and desire is to own the liberty of our own creative and productive processes without the pressures of other people being rubbed on our cheeks.

I will continue to enjoy seeing how the sun rises and sets before me. I will not stop thinking out of the box. And I will try to break free from the shackles of time this normal world has set before us.

In search for the orgasmic life and living

2010-03-14T00:49:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: The following may have sexually-suggestive contents. Anyway, read it at your own risk.

I’m currently on a crazy quest to find and achieve the orgasmic life (Go ahead and call me a pervert for all I care). Now in case you’re asking why this life, when almost everyone is after the comfortable kind? I’ve got two reasons for that:

1. The “comfortable” psyche bores me. Sure, being the laid-back person that I am, I’d like to live my life as stress-free and as “drama-less” as possible. But also life, in my definition, says comfort and dullness is like a cocktail drink with a bad aftertaste. And I don’t like something like that poured over on my glass.

2. It has always been my intention from the very beginning to live an interesting life. As obvious as it can be.

This all started when I first set foot in the walled halls of the School of Design and Arts in 2005. I immersed myself into a world where a fraction of this country’s society truly appreciates their output and insight. I don’t mean to sound egotistic when I say this—I only say what I see and hear, that and nothing else. I’m hoping all this would change in the not-so-distant future. Moving on…

One Friday afternoon after I’ve had my training for fencing, I bought a big cup of noodles for lunch (we don’t usually eat anything before we rev up, because the extra weight takes a huge toll on our joints) and as I was about to enjoy my seemingly simple, yet-king-sized meal, both my teammates and some of my friends from the debate society started to criticize on the contents of my food, as the package was simple (I could still remember how their “entranced” looks were vividly well, after the steam and aroma came out as soon as I opened the lid).

From then on, it was aliased as “orgasmic noodles”, because there was no dull moment in eating it (apparently they tried it out afterwards). Stupid as it may sound, the experience left them on the climax from the first to last noodle (or sip, in whatever way they like it). For a moment it left 7-11 out of stock of that particular food item, which kind of left me a mixed feeling of content and irritation—because the elite-like people around me were able to appreciate the simple and unforgettable experience in a cup, so much that I couldn’t buy one for myself.

Jumping now to the present, the very familiar and satisfying feeling reincarnated from a simple form of cup noodles to a plastic platter of Greek cuisine. Regardless of how you eat it and which part to start on, it’ll definitely leave you in pure and unadulterated satisfaction. Yes, the food they serve at that corner of Glorietta is also orgasmic.

Thus I have a theory: what if we could live our lives as one, big and long orgasm (multiple times can be an option)? Reality speaks in a lustful way that all our lives we humped, thrusted and performed every position in the book that’s being asked of us (I’m not talking solely about sex here, so keep on thinking out-of-the-box will ya?). And sure it is directed to whoever’s gain with a “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am/Stan” twist.

And we’re left with what? An awfully-familiar hung-up-and-so-dissatisfied feeling that stings you so bad, you wished you didn’t have that in the first place. What if we do or add something in our activities, that at the end of the day, that no matter how long or hard we hump and thrust the satisfaction is and will always be there? I’m sorry for being vague here for I’m only in the position to speak for my own viewpoint. But I hope I was able to relay my idea.

The very reason why I chose food, and not sex among anything else because for one I don’t want to cite the obvious. On an introspective manner, we all have our own personal desires, each has a particular fashion unique to its own. And since I enjoy dining, experiencing something that is so unexpected and exciting brings out an insightfully-different and far-out version of myself. And I’m willing to (figuratively) jump cliffs and scale mountains to attain this larger-than-life adventure. I’ll let you know how far I’ve gone on this.

So I end this short and weekly blog entry with a lustful question…you don’t have to respond, but it would be nice if you share me your thoughts.

What tickles your fancies, and would you chase it so bad to make you come?

The "kaladkarin" is faced with a crossroad

2010-03-07T02:47:00.000-08:00

So far I’ve been working as a Customer Service Representative since 2004. Six years of carrying the huge task of carrying the crap out of people I don’t even have a direct connection with, for the very purpose that you could get by with life’s stress (financial stress to be specific). Individuals like me whose patience level depends on how long and comfortable their sleep was (that, among other things) may not even last a week putting up a poker face and feint a smile and kiss some foreigner’s behind for eight hours each day, every work day.

I guess you can imagine how successful I am with coping with stress for me to last this long, because it cost me a lot to stay on a company, thinking of how and what to do to get by with these… obstacles out of my system. This involved buying a lot of toys and doing worldly (and realistic) vices and every miscellaneous item you could think of, just to keep it on the low for my advantage, that is. That, to which might take my breath away if I keep on with this (I’m not kidding here).

But when that moment arises, one would realize that the pay no longer suffices to stay—thus, one resigns him/herself to the company he/she is currently affiliated with in search of “greener” pastures which, in general truth, follows the same job description as the latter (I may be wrong in this). And the ruthless and ugly cycle begins anew. I guess you can say that through the years my expectations were stepped on several times that I’ll probably hide my smirk and the “yeah right” statement with my poker-faced smiles and nods (please don’t ask who and where I got that from).

To be honest, I never really wanted to carry this job description in my resume for it destroys one’s image and status if he/she enters to a different field of work (let’s say I’ve seen a lot of shattered dreams along the road). 2005 was a year when I was chasing after the dream –the very dream I’ve truly wanted for my own growth. But then my devilish self and I took another dangerous turn and…well, that’s the kind of past I never wanted to go back and reminisce to. All I ever want to do in my life is to work in a field where I enjoy doing. Simply because that it’d be something I’d never consider as a job at all. I know pretty well that I’m being idealistic when I say this, but I’d rather be paid less for the things I want to do than do something that pays me a lot, but my heart is not there when I do it. And it’s rare for me to actually know what I like, mind you.

I’m writing right now because I’m now facing another dilemma—a seemingly simple forked road in my life where, if I make my say now, will decide whether my “professional” family weighs more than my newfound passion. Just like on the previous companies I’ve worked with, where I’ve come across a professional “family” more than just mere office colleagues, it’s a no-turning-back thing when the die is cast. Don’t get me wrong… I’m more hesitant than confused. All I need is time to think and re-evaluate things over. More details on this, I promise you. But for now, I’ll end this entry with a period.

Scribbling Away on a Sunday Afternoon (Obviously I’m lazy and annoyed right now)

2010-02-27T23:30:00.000-08:00

I have to admit that I go online on facebook.com whenever I can to update as to what’s happening with the people around me, as well as some events that may satisfy my random interests. It sometimes may not be on a daily basis, because work can be draining (yes, even to the point of sleeping with my PC on). But lately I have to go online to comply with the terms and conditions of my academic requirements.

Yes, the very social networking site that gave sleepless nights to countless unnamed individuals, of varying age, status, and occupation. I have not only need to go online, but I need to access it on a specific time so I’m able to work around it. I hope you can feel how annoyed I am on this, because I really am. Here’s why:

Last week, our professor in Aesthetics class gave us the midterm project we’ll never (EVER) forget. I was able to jot down the details so I won’t forget, though I doubt I’ll ever do. I have to hand it to her for her sense of imagination, but I’d rather do a 5-10 page research paper. Anyway, here’s what I’ve obtained.

Midterm Project:

Create or utilize an existing Facebook game account:

o Farmville

o Café World

o Farm town

o Island Paradise

Design the setting by applying any of the aesthetic principles taken

Write a one page paper and submit as a hard copy “defending” the aesthetic principle application

Passed during our next meeting

I was so annoyed that night, I called Hiphop music as pang-kanto (ghetto) without hesitation. I dunno. Probably I haven’t been dancing and bobbing my head to the endless slamming bass beats, and some big and threatening name for a random rapper who constantly brags about how many assess (hoes) they’ve screwed over, the number of bling-blings, cars and houses they have which may cause some to share the hate. Well what can I say? They gangsta… gotta lot of drug money to spend and get away with it and get shot in the end (okay I’m gonna stop on this). Oh yeah, I’d still say I’m a big fan of the music.

Anyway, like I mentioned earlier it’s been almost a week of having hurrying back home to go online and work on my project, like some crazy idiot whose life and sanity depends on the length of time playing the game. Though there are some games that I’m actually hooked when I log on, it’s just that the list of games are annoying enough for me to even do. I could barely do the things I want to do even!

Where’s the beach when I need it?

It sucks when "growing up" becomes more and more of a strict requirement.

2010-02-21T01:29:00.000-08:00

Right at this very moment, I’m currently tracing back as far as my earthly existence is concerned. And so far, I’ve come to realized that I will be turning 27 in a few months. Three more years and I’m no longer within the age “20” bracket. That means 26 years of living and acting as if I’m a cartoon character in an anime show, minus the obvious expressions you’d normally see if you watch an episode (huge sweat drops, frantic movements etc). Usually these ideas don’t bother me at all since it would just be like what… a year older on my record? And most likely, celebrating my birthday wouldn’t be an explosive one compared to a couple of people I know. But now it alerts me the same way my alarm clock functions—may not be annoyingly loud, but a message can be clearly understood from it.

Guys, I’m worried about how my life would turn out in the next coming years, financially-speaking. I don’t usually worry a lot, but now it scares me by sheer thought of it.

Usually when I look at my desk, all I can see are 16 Gundam model kits that I’ve collected since the beginning of last year. Now, I look at approximately Php13,000 wasted completely on “toys”. That amount could’ve been allotted to something more productive and useful either with my academics or in handling my finances. I’m looking at the times when I splurge selflessly on things that temporarily satisfy my material desires (minds off the gutter, please). My somewhat rare escapades to the metro are becoming more and more… pointless.

I’m probably sober from my financial delusions that one day I’ll be hitting the lottery jackpot. Though wishful thinking that you may probably strike gold in that kind of fashion, it’s still illogical. A random John Doe would have more chances getting hit by an 18-wheeler in broad daylight, than winning in these kinds of games…

So… A quick reality check, here. Where am I now?

· I’m working as an agent in a call center, somewhere in the metro earning more or less around 8-9K per cut off every month.

· I’m currently taking up Arts Management in one of the newest artistically-involved institution since UST, and since my job involves working during the day and that night schedules are becoming more and more hard to find, I don’t think I’d be able to finish the course anytime soon.

· Dating myself for 500 bucks and less whenever I have the time. If not, then I’d be sticking my ass at home until further notice, since I can surf wirelessly with ease.

· Still stucked-up with my ideal lifestyle and is somewhat struggling to make that a reality.

The question I’m asking myself now, is.. What are my chances really of changing the course of my life and for me to stop sulking and brooding over lost hopes? I’m interested in making my life free from thinking too much about when will my next pay check will arrive for me to satisfy my needs and the family that I will establish in the future. One thing’s for sure… My current paycheck won’t satisfy much on that. What do I still need to do?

I hope I’m not all too late realizing this.

Valentine's Day and me ^_^'

2010-02-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

I’m sorry if I haven’t been posting lately. I was somewhat slacking off with watching at YouTube (which is something I shouldn’t be doing all the time). Alas, another distraction aside from the usual Facebook site. I’d say there’s nothing interesting going around my world, apart from the never-ending discussion on the ever so famous Manny Villar ads et al that, at first, never really gave attention of it until the very commercial becomes a parody of what the presidentiable would like us to see and believe. More about this on the next posts.

I’m writing again, probably because it’s a special day for couples and singles alike (and obviously I have enough the time to do this). Guys and gals, its… (ugh) Valentine’s day! *waves both his arms frantically*

*winds begin to whistle while the tumbleweeds rolled past him*

Though there are a lot of people making a huge fuss about it, in reality I’m not one of them for obvious reasons. First, this event never really got my attention aside from a sea of couples doing the “holding-hands-while-walking-without-a-care-in-the-world” thing, guys rushing to get their gifts to give their dates, and when every shop has roses, chocolates, and stuffed animals to sell (I thought I saw one Starbucks Coffee shop nearby offering all these a few days ago and that it actually surprised me more than annoy).

Second, this “hallmark” holiday made every mall, store and flower shop in the metropolis packed and the traffic is horrifying enough that I will remind to either lock myself up next time it happens or plan two to three weeks ahead to anticipate it. And third… I’m not interested looking for a date at the moment. Period.

A lot of people have been asking me this question lately, and every time I try to reason out and answer the question, a wave of decoys and random distractions follow to disrupt my fragile flow of thought. Now that I’m at a place far from my sweet Manila home, and that my internet speed would last me approximately around 5-6 hours of non-stop surfing (that I don’t normally do, unless if I’m at a café waiting for someone), I think I’m able to answer this post (I hope).

For those who don’t know, I chose to be single again because of the very reason that I am becoming more and more volatile when it comes to decision-making. In a perfect world, men are usually the ones who choose where to eat, when to hang out and what to do on a specific day when engaged in a relationship. And as what was written on my previous post, I’m not really that much of a team player and that whatever the decision in specific majority has been made, then I’m bound to accept it whether I like it or not. Sucks to admit that I’m only good in making decisions for myself, not considering what other people may think or feel about it. One of the not-so-good traits of growing up and swinging by myself.

Another thing is that I’ve grown accustomed to be by my own with my activities most of the time. I guess that also explains why my fields of interest are so…otherworldly to human society. Don’t get me wrong…I don’t mean that I’m not easy to be with, because I can go with the flow if I wanted to (wherever it’ll take me even). I’m probably saying this because I miss being with myself, and the kind of antics and misadventures I’ve had with my friends (who shares the same interests as I am). You can say that I miss the “light” side of me back in the days; compared to the somewhat neutral and at most times, the cold and condescending façade I would normally show to the rest of the world (I’m being polite here).

Based from these points I’ve mentioned, I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve still got a lot of growing up to do. I’ll be turning 27 in three months, yet I’ve got the mindset of a troubled (not to mention, delinquent) teenager. I need the extra time to re-evaluate myself and evolve into something more acceptable and capable in handling the trying times, so that the very person who I fervently pray for and I believe is destined to be and grow old with me will understand that I’m not doing this because I’m being selfish but the reason why I’m making these preparations is to become a better man, compared to that spineless fledgling before, and to the somewhat-unpredictable and underachieved fool that I am now.

I hope you don’t take today’s entry that I am one miserable, dateless being, because people who know me well enough would see me as an emotional person, not to mention a sweet and mushy one (I think). I guess that this would be my third attempt to do this entry, as the other ones were not what I was expecting turned out overly emotional. Either that, or it was too mushy that I had to stop every now and then just to smoke. Probably I’d go out again someday. But at the moment, I’m happy where I’m currently standing at the moment.

It’s Valentine’s Day. Couples, celebrate your unity and own each other to the fullest (depending on your definition of it). To those who are bitterly single (admit it or not), patience pays a lot in waiting. Trust me, it’s all worth it.

As for me? I’m single, no doubt not available for dating. But I never said anything that I’ll be celebrating it alone, have I? ^_^’

Blast from the past dated April 25, 2006

2010-02-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking... Though everybody constantly tell me not to go overboard, the summer heat, my inability to express my thoughts verbally, and the "loneliness" made it so irresistable. So let's see how far I've gone...

I've received an SMS from a friend and she confided how she felt awful yesterday. She narrated how she misses her ex-boyfriend. A few hours before the incident, she was telling me how they broke up-- apparently the guy cheated on her. I'd say... women. *clicks his tongue*

Truth be told, she's not the only one who poured her heart to me. I've seen and heard this so many times and in different languages...I can sniff it out from anyone. The regrets they had for making their significant others' as the center of their universe and the whole nine yards. Honestly? I've probably crashed and burned in a similar fashion, just minus the boo-hoo moments.

Ever since I've learned to put myself in someone else's situation, I've been listening to these sob stories for as long as I can remember. And everytime, I give them my versions of unsolicited advices and "feel-good" words and phrases that it wasn't their fault that made their significant others do it (blah-blah-blah...yadda-yadda-yadda). I feel it's unfair to say that no matter how hard I listen to their problems, nobody would have the heart to listen to me. But then, that's just me and that's another story to tell.

So here's my question... Do we guys always have to take the blame whenever a crippling situation brews up? Obviously, I've heard countless of these ladies' "ideal men" confessions, and I guess clearing this one up will put my mind at ease.

Men, in majority has always been regarded as the Alphas of society and history has dictated these several times (I need not explain this). An impressive set of physical attributes, a considerably-tolerable IQ level, a somewhat live-able life philosophy, not to mention a pretty face, a ridiculously-affluent bank account and a heart to fill for a woman. These are some of the few requirements. Anybody having any of these would definitely drop someones undergarments off and snag a chic at any given day. Yes, even if they are blind-folded, hand-cuffed and chained.

Man's social responsibility is to support the life of the family he establishes. Though time witnessed its change of course with the women joining the workforce, the pressure for the men to uphold discipline to their childer, protect his pack, and maintain their stature together with all the rest still remains. Though women deserve the right to be respected as well as honored and loved because of their sensitivity and being emotionally-volatile, I believe that men should deserve that kind of treatment as well.

I'm not being unfair with the female department, because I've heard and seen their tears. I've listened through their complaints and I say it is just. But as the saying goes "it takes two to tango". It means two dancers should play their roles equally to exercise their performance as it should be.

Case en pointe: Guys do the most immature and the darnest inconsiderate things and cheat because there are things that their partners aren't really satisfied with.

I'm not saying that it's an excuse to cheat because your S.O. because can not fill in with the qualities the "other" has. I'm just saying that these are occurences that should be observed closely. As to how to fill it in, is no longer my responsibility to tell you.

Because there are reasons that we consider greatly in ourselves and to our partners whenever we engage in a relationship.

Because the responsibility that we fill to love and keep you, as well as on the world we're living in is great, that we also deserve to be catered, and loved, and respected. That also includes how our minds work and how we handle pressure. And when I say responsibility, I do not mean it as a chore or a task. We are capable of loving people even if the "why" question cannot be answered directly. I say this as a responsibility because, after all, it's the boyfriends who comes in first to love their partners right?

And to demand things far more than what we can currently offer is unreasonable to the things we've sacrificed to just be with you... This'll make us question our worth, that may result to us finding someone who may find us valuable with just being ourselves.

And ladies...knowing that we're trying our best to be your personalized "Superman", please keep in mind that the things that we have laid upon our backs are and will always be life-changing, that we are willing to carry your burdens and solve them "together". I know you do love and care for us, and we're not expecting you to give your all and support us (at least not until the vows has been said). What we need is someone who could understand the things that we are concerned about-- the elements that makes us into who we are, including you and the things you believe in.

Please comment if you will. A witchhunt might be sought after me for this ^_^'

This is not me. This is my bad side talking

2010-02-04T02:04:00.000-08:00

I've got an ugly confession to make. So ugly, me reading and editing this entry scares me.

I've been working in an industry where working together as a team is crucial for an individual or a group's success for more or less around five or six years, but I've never fully grasped the concept of teamwork (How far am I on understanding this at the moment? I'm not yet done with the letter "T". Go figure). Either you go ahead and hate or make fun of me on this. I couldn't really care any less at the moment.

I've always related this kind of strategy with two activities: basketball and high school projects-- both which I don't have a spark of interest with. Pardon my primitive mind... I've always been the non-conformist since fate etched the very two letters on my forehead. And don't get me wrong...I have marched and graduated high school with the kind of fashion I wanted--with style, that is.

It's just that back then, whenever I'm assigned to a group for an activity or project, my colleagues' participation are as follows (probably I'd still do this even if I had to live my life all over again):

Temperature control... simply by letting them sit down and not move a muscle on group activities
Full participation in minimizing noise pollution by keeping their traps shut. This also gives me peace of mind.
Them doing the "smile and wave" move to the audience by putting words in their mouths. Voluntarily or otherwise.

Yes, it's my way or the highway. I'm mean, I've got no soul. So somebody stake me right now before I grow fangs and suck the life outta you. I really don't care. That's how I got by with life. When I was on the road, when all else fails, the only person I can only depend on is myself and no one else.

Ah, but wait... Don't get me wrong, I've worked in several teams and succeeded on several occasions. How come I still haven't grasped it?

There are two underlying theories and this still depends on a given situation. If I work with people who have already proved themselves worthy of the respect and insight, I'll willingly participate. No questions asked.

But since working with friends isn't something realistic on my part at the very least, I only do it for the sole purpose, that I won't be bothered by anybody's bickering. I'll be bold enough to say that there's nothing holistic in the things that I do-- I only do as I'm told. after the whole thing, I don't have anything to do with you anymore.

Love me, stick with me, or just plain hate me. I don't really give a rat's ass about it. This is me-- or at least a part of me. I'm not forcing myself to anyone. I just come and go as I please, whenever I want it, however I'd like it to be

(Okay... I'd better shut up now)

My Reason for Writing

2010-01-30T22:49:00.000-08:00

Why do you write?

Cha asked me this question yesterday. She reads my blog every time I tell her that I've posted my work. All of a sudden, I paused and thought about it all night until now. Why do I write? This question can not be answered by my usual "I dunno... Should there be reason?" line, that's for sure. I traced back to the years when I blogged about random things and emotional "boo-hoo" moments and stumbled to a certain time line where I'm not even aware that something like a blog even exists. And here, my story starts...

The year was 2000. I was a freshman at a university somewhere down South. Being the loner that I partly am, I swung by myself most of the time. Maybe it's because that my classmates' interests didn't get my attention at all. Don't get me wrong... I'm pretty aware of overly social things like clubbing and partying with random people to your heart's content. It's just that I'm not into it, or maybe my activities usually involve coordinating with a group of very close friends. But anyway...

I was exploring my first years of college life with a bespectacled wonder by the name of Carla. I honestly did mind having her company at first, because I was such an idiot of a loner then shooing her off most of the time, considering we're able to talk a lot about things we're very much interested in (video games, local anime and trivial information to be specific). How she got my respect with all that I've done is still a mystery.

She told me one day that she wanted me to visit her very first website, named 204am.com. She placed some of her best literary works and posted a link where it'll take you to her journal. I visited it whenever I had a chance while it was still open and read her entries...

Now...Back in high school, I'm known by my own literary pieces in the poetry department. I chose that field at that time because you're free to express yourself and have your thoughts and emotions fit using a few words... But Carla's entries are exceptional... If I were to describe it in layman's terms, it can be compared to watching a show on a really big HD TV screen. I have to admit, that I was her fan when it comes to writing.

Knowing that never in a million years will I be able to do something compared to that, I started writing my own articles, in hopes that with this I'd be be able to find a world within me that's yet to be discovered.

I've had a lot of blogs started and discontinued because I was constantly searching for something to write about, when it should come out spontaneously. It always end up as a tiring read, even if most of them are short entries. Tiring, because most of my entries are personal as it is tad bit too dark and emotional. That's how it was. I've learned and tried to veer away from thoughts similar to that fashion but also ended up disappointed because It just looked and read like any other blog. I was able to pick up the pieces in hopes that my past mistakes don't surface in this year's entry.

Why do I write? Here's the answer I'm able to put up at this time:

I'm writing because I'd like to have my own voice, my opinionated response to what the world says...

I'm writing because I'd like to share my uniqueness to the world, in hopes that they would understand me too. (I know this is a tad bit too optimistic, but let this reason pass, please?)

I'm writing because I would like to unload all the unsaid words that I have kept through the years. I would like to be happier and stress-free when I'm with the people I co-exist.

And I'm still writing because I'm still to discover the world-- that unchartered territory hidden in me, in hopes that finding it would make me whole.

To those who haven't read my blog yet, please find time to read it. Though I don't normally update it on a daily basis, I assure you that this won't be a tiring site to read on to. :)

Enter! The Sunrise Shotgun

2010-01-29T20:26:00.000-08:00

A few days earlier, I was swinging by my own (as always), drifting through the sea of people inside Glorietta. I've just satisfied my craving for writing and posted on my blog, thanks to the wonders of wifi technology. It really comes in handy especially when you've got plenty lots of time to burn and think away.

I was about to go to Greenbelt to drift around some more, when an unlikely familiar face got my attention-- The Sunrise Shotgun, Rene Cruz jr. tapping it away with his laptop inside Burger King. Don't get me wrong... I bump into someone I'm formally (or informally) acquainted with on several instances, it's just that his kind is something you don't normally get to see and meet on any given monday. In an instant, it felt like college again (DLSU-D college. Will tell you more about it on my future posts).

Rene, in my perspective is a celebrant. The very person who keeps us sane when all of us are engulfed in newspaper layouts, videos and photography portfolios, and nasty time-killers aka "Thesis". His witty antics and his drive for savoring every moment of it never failed to make us smile amidst the overwhelming stress

Hanging out with him and the other people at the "office" (he named a hut inside the University grounds, facing our college building as our dedicated hang-out spot) everytime can be compared to the clouds in a summer sky-- each moment is a unique as it passes, but if's fun nonetheless. His otherwordly viewpoint to reality taught me to take it easy, amidst the pressure (I have to admit I was very much a drama king back then). And he always has a reason for alcohol. Come to think of it, there's always a reason why one should drink... ^^,

Aside from his celebrator of life that he is, he is a talented writer and a film critique to the core. I'm serious on this! He'll definitely see something that's wrong on a given flick. If he doesn't like what sees, he'll probably sleep it off. Yes, he's mean, but if you're see things in a different perspective, you'll might even agree with him (he had me with this several times, which never fails to impress me). He'll give you one beating of an opinion to straighten you up and get one's act together (I've had a couple of his sermons in that past haha ^_^')

That's the Sunrise Shotgun for you. He's one of my closest friends, otherworldly in my perspective but definitely someone you can depend on. View his posts at http://sunriseshotgun.wordpress.com/. You might even see this as an interesting find ^_^'

Brain-frozen

2010-01-29T02:26:00.000-08:00

I remember my friends Harima Kenji and Sgt. Senpai shared one their experiences while riding a jeep. One day when they took their usual route, one of the passengers jumped off as fast as he could, taking another commuter's bag with him. They saw the whole thing, stood up and froze-- not because of fear or anything because the both of them really wanted to help...

Harima and Sgt. Senpai, just like the rest of us (I meant our brotherhood of otakus ^^,) know a lot about martial arts. In fact Harima and I had a punching duel back at Sgt. Senpai's place once (which I took his Sunday punch and landed on the temple of my forehead. I remember if I took another one of those in that duel, I'd definitely be found kissing the floor). Going back... They tried to help the victim (who, apparently was laughing for no apparent reason at that time), but froze because they're not really sure how to get back with the snatcher. I'm pretty sure they want to beat the guy out to their heart's content, but from what Sgt. Senpai explained they both don't know if they both want to punch, or kick, or elbow, or knee (it might take me forever citing all of them) him.

No, I don't have any beef with anyone at the moment, what I'm trying to say is that I'm having the same kind of dilemma right now. Right now, I've got a lot of things to talk about, that I don't even know where to start. I'd love to share how this day went, but I'm not sure myself if I'm even that "comfortable" exposing my thoughts to the whole world at the moment.

One thing's for certain... I'll definitely be able to put up something either later, or tomorrow. ^_^' But for now I'll leave you with my brain frozen, ready to thaw anytime ^^,

Life, Jackie Chan, and the answer to Makunochi Ippo's question

2010-01-27T03:58:00.000-08:00

*stares blankly at the monitor* Oh! Sorry guys... I was just viewing one of my blogs that I haven't even updated for the longest time (I think the last update was February 4, 2009). I was checking how much my writing style has changed over the years (considering it has been a while since I last blogged). I think I was bad a writer then, but if you're interested, here's the link http://ronin-fencer.livejournal.com/. By the way... This may not probably my best work, so take it easy, alright? ^^,

Though I've got to admit that somehow my psyche then and now has changed a bit through the years. If I'm to recall who I was then, I was half an asshole, and a complete sucker for getting into a relationship in the soonest possible time. Am I now to blame my raging hormones back then? Probably not. I guess everyone has to get an upgrade when the moment calls for it.

I don't know if you'll agree with me when I say this, but of all the profs who tried to instill the "values" and insights that they have acquired (I think hammered is a better term for this), Life is still the best, and probably the worst kung-fu master one is bound to encounter. I was about to say something like "teacher" or "coach", but then a kung-fu master would best describe how this goes.

Have you ever watched a really old Jackie Chan movie? My favorite was Drunken Master where Jackie Chan took the role of a troublesome youth who often gets in trouble, even if he didn't do it on purpose. He didn't want to train, even if at times he was beaten up. He was then "caught" by a beggar and taught him kung fu, drunken style (note: I used the word "caught", because he never really wanted to be trained by anyone). But moving on...

He was forced to be trained real hard, every movement was strictly supervised and, of course... there were lots drinking involved (you can't really use the technique if you're sober obviously). And being the character Jackie Chan portrayed in the film, he tried several times to run away from the whole routine (even to the point of drowning his master inside a huge jar full of water during one of their sessions).

To fast forward things a bit, all his training bore fruit and was able to beat the baddies in the film, using the very technique modern-day alcoholics may want to use if they're going home unusually late at night to protect themselves (but if you're at gun-point, just give them want they want, alright?).

Why did I even mention that life is something like that of a kung-fu master? Well at one point we've got to admit that everyday's a struggle to anything we badly desire. Life will not teach you how to be strong on one side-- Life will teach you how to handle our hardships on different angles, different timing, and on various gravities. And that beggar of a kung fu master taught Jackie how to handle himself in obviously tough situations through the inhumanly hard tasks he's constantly giving him.

I'm actually telling this story because the past two weeks, I've been feeling somewhat lost in reassessing myself-- where have I gone so far? How much ground do I still need to cover? Where's the nearest men's room... and the like. Then I remembered those times when I really didn't care what time should I go to sleep, or what and when would I be doing something. I really miss being in control of my own time. And I then realized that these were the times I was passively running away from things we should be prioritizing on.

When I started working and earning my keep, I then realize how fun being a grown up would be. But honestly, as the months and years pass this "fun" became so tiring that I just want to get away from all this nonsense. I guess I was again blinded by the energy of today's youth in pursuing their dreams while in school. (wait... There's energy in today's youth in CSB?) I have to admit...I really miss being a full-time student again.

As much as I'd love to go back to the time when once was, I realized that I'm a lot more capable than the guy who was complaining to just about anything he sees, breathes, tastes, hears, and touches but couldn't do anything about it. I'm a lot better than that. I've gained a whole lot of useful (and of course trivial) insights with the hardships I've encountered through the years. I'm barely that kid anymore...

To everyone's viewpoint, I guess it's safe to say that life is indeed a vicious master when it comes to training us to be stronger. And it doesn't matter how popular, or rich, or intelligent, or smart a person is. When our challenges gives us rain, it'll pour hard, enough to get us soaking wet. And our experiences, regardless of its gravity will tell us that when we're on down low, taking all the hardships and pains would eventually strengthen us in the future once we get through it. All that needs to be done is to keep on taking the punches, until it could no longer affects us. Besides, everything that we are experiencing is temporary in our own existences...

Funny. I think I've accidentally answered Ippo Makunochi's question ^_^'

I'm walking on this earth with Neko-chan, sitting on my head ^^,

2010-01-25T02:48:00.000-08:00

People who don't know me well see me as a loner and a complete weirdo. Well... I can't blame them. People are entitled to their opinion regardless of how good or bad they see it. I've got to admit that there's some truth to these statements. I say some, because I'm not all this. I've got days when I'd rather do things in my own fashion, regardless of what other people would say and think about me. Mind your own business, I'd say ^_^'

I've got a handful of people whom I'm comfortable being myself. I still barely have a clue as to why I'm limiting myself to selected individuals, but maybe it's because that I have a tad bit of an issue with trusting other people easily. When I say trust issues, I meant I'll trust anyone who'll willingly accept the kind of character that I possess and will keep my wall up in case if they broke it. But anyway...

I haven't seen my friends for quite a while now, which, if I think so much about it, would make me really sad. But thanks to Neko-chan, it makes the world a lot less lonelier. Though I'd admit that my world would be peaceful had I not met her, but I'd like to believe that life's course requires me to meet her in the right time, and I have no regrets meeting her. Why? Read closely then...

Neko-chan and I met online. I was chatting at that time simply because I'd like to have someone to actually have a conversation with. And when I'm looking for one, I really mean it. No smooth-talking, no flirting, just no-nonsense (and plain nonsense) talk. She surprisingly stimulated my senses and after our first telephone conversation I was asking for more (oh, minds of the gutter you guys... I don't mean "that" kind of stimulation T_T').

And that was the beginning of something that's more beautiful than the word "beautiful". Our insanity led us to random spots within our town and around the metro. It led us to talking about anything from the otherworldly trivia, to the downright funny topics, and then shifting to the dead and plain serious ones. We've had our food trips and smoke-outs (smoking cigarettes outside), and shuttle rides, and hillarious laughters and cries, and verbal bouts (which I always lose most of the time ^^,). The list goes on, and it doesn't end there.

People sometimes ask me what's up with her that makes me feel at ease... And i would say she's a woman with style. And no, I don't simply mean about fashion. She took care of me in ways she does best (Sorry, but I'm gonna be vague with this). She's brave enough to keep up with me on my bad days. She finds ways to keep me amused (yes, even at her expense). But the best thing about her is that she proved to me several times that no matter what happens, regardless of whose fault it is, she'll be right there when you need her. She earned my respect so bad that if anyone hurts her or any of her family and friends..I'd go cruisin' for a bruisin' (and probably even more violent if need be).

So that's my Neko-chan. True, loving, sweet, smart, and obnoxiously funny. I will be always by her side, no matter what the future is in store for the two of us.

On Friends, of friends, of friends...(?!)

2010-01-23T23:43:00.000-08:00

Earlier today, I was typing about a topic about my interests and hobbies, in hopes that anyone who has the time to read about my blog understand how my mind works. However I scratched it off because of one small distraction. My internet browser is on with my Facebook account in it. I say its a distraction because I've completely lost track of what I'm supposed to write about and tinkered on my profile instead to make it more enjoyable to view and read on (yeah, blame it on the website now ^^,). Then it struck me, so I'll probably write about those on my next posts.

Right now, I currently have 475 "friends" in it. 475 people that I've stumbled, met, talked and went around the metro with. I've to admit that most of my friends here are women. No, it doesn't mean that I'm gay nor I'm a ladies man. I guess I prefer having female friends around, because I feel that they're there to listen to whatever you're feeling at the moment and they exert effort to try to make you see things in a different perspective, as well as give the best, if not, the most appropriate advice to make you pick up the broken pieces and start anew. Again, don't get me wrong because the closest friends that I have are guys as always. In fact, Sgt. Senpai is the very person I can depend on in case the whole would become something like that game, Left 4 Dead. But this is not what I'm here to talk about.

The friends in my profile are composed of people whom I grew up with, went to high school and college, close relatives and siblings, and people I've worked with from the moment I realized that I am a social being. Some of the people not related to these categories, well I think I've probably met them online at the infamous chat-relay client program mIRC a few years back, and the rest? Well I've probably met them along the way.

Back in my hey-day IRC days I add people left and right for the very reason that it feels good to know that my profile has a lot of friends. But then a few months after, I end up deleting them because they're not really friends to begin with. What I saw then were random people whom I don't know and have no direct connection to me as far I'm concerned. Plus what I did contradicts the whole concept of connecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a period of time.

I simply would like to make it clear that if anyone who "bumped" into me, talked and chuckled for a while, and then ask for my profile to add on does not guarantee that they'll stay on my list of friends because it doesn't necessarily work that way. I don't mean to sound as if I'm a very important person or connection, but I value my friendship to the people I'm with. And the people around my circle earned their respects, the same way I've earned theirs. So yeah, we're friends, you've seen and commented on my gundam collection and other random pictures I've posted, and read my blog. But question is, do I really know you?

In case I've added you... Well aren't you a lucky one, huh?

R & R (Rants and Regrets)

2010-01-19T23:59:00.000-08:00

This would probably be the second time I would be transferring tables due to strong winds today. I almost forgot to buy cigarettes...I'll probably get a pack later. What the hell.

If you're one of my friends in my facebook account, you'd probably see one of my shout-outs wishing I'd go back ten years ago. I've never told anyone as to why I said such a thing like that. I'm currently living my life in the fast-lane, kissing aussie boots for eight hours by day and rushing to school for night classes. I'm able to buy the things and pamper myself with my wants for any given day. It's probably the kind of life anyone would want.

I hope you could sense a lot of bull on my last statement because it sure is.

I shouldn't be using my blogs for my usual rants. Not because in a "business" aspect, it won't be good for the influx of money (after all, making money is all they can think about and nothing else. Manpower is probably the only factor I know that can be replaced and disposed of emotionlessly), but I guess I wouldn't want to turn this blog as a reason to pour out my heartaches everytime I'm experiencing it. After all... reading or listening to someone else's problems is tiring (Well... La-dee-dah. We all have problems... Why the hell should I listen to yours?)

I just wish I could go back ten years ago. To correct the mistakes that I've done... Maybe right now, I could be somewhere where I can really make a difference, not just in my life but also on others. Maybe right now I'm not living with my folks, but on a condo complex paying my bills with no trace of worries. Maybe then using public transportation is something that I'll do to relive and remember what it's like to be one with the rest. Maybe I'd be more stable as a person... If I hadn't considered living life too easily then maybe I'd be someone a lot of people could look up on.

Reality bites that regrets linger in the end. I've learned that the hard way, and I'm still paying for it. Maybe that's something inevitable. Maybe that's something written in my blood already.

Probably tomorrow's a different day. Oh well.

The Ippo Makunochi Question

2010-01-18T18:30:00.000-08:00

Pardon for being anime-ish. But I have to admit that until now, I'm still a sucker for japanese anime. Not because of the alien-eyed women, not the flashy heroic poses, nor the kick-ass looks, not even their deliquent-ish social demeanor in their shows, but it's more on the philosophical side of things. Yes, anime has a philosophy on it's own. It's not just the big "sweat drop" expression, or the exaggerated movements. Things most adults overlook as rubbish, or things for child's play only-- because it's all done in paper, or something they can not gossip about because they're barely even considered as being existent. No, I believe there's more to that.

Well, since I don't usually have the time to watch anime, I spend most of my time reading japanese comicbook series also known as "manga". I frequent the site onemanga.com simply because for one, it doesn't really require you to sign in or anything. Two, it's free website and three, it has most of the copies that are currently being shown in anime (only that it's too advanced, that you have to read the back issues before getting to the most recent release). I've stumbled upon the series named "Hajime no Ippo". Locally in the Philippines, it's dubbed as Knock Out (which is also part of the title). Since the anime itself got my attention, I figured reading it would be a blast. Right now, it's more than 700 episodes long. Sure that it sounds like a long read, but I realized that when they release it in the animated series, two or three episodes are squished into one. Being the nerd that I am, I started from the first issue and chop-sueyed it until I get to the most recent release.

To give you the whole gist of what Hajime no Ippo is all about, the story tells a story of Ippo Makunochi, a highschool nobody who often gets bullied and beaten up most of the time. His life flipped over when he was saved from his bullies by a boxer by the name of Mamoru Takamura. Ever since, he started training like mad, rose from the ranks as a champion, and yet is still chasing after the answer to the very question that probably some may even have difficulties finding the answer to the problem...

What does it mean to be strong?

Yes, it's an elementary question. And please don't try answering this recklessly. Though the anime is focused purely on boxing, it's not specifically in lieu with physical strength, but on a deeper side of what it really means to be strong. I tried answering this question myself for the poor sap and somehow it got me asking that question myself in the end. Don't worry, I'm not going emo or anything like it. I'd just like to pop in a question, and for you to answer it by simply thinking out of the box.

The matches in the manga includes several boxers body parts being smashed, heads flying after being taken down by their Sunday punches (the kind of punch that figuratively puts you down cold, like "you get punched now, and that by the time you wake up it's already Sunday"), feints, unrealistic one-twos, flashy footworks, poker faces, and KO's. If you think about it, that's what boxers usually get from matches, which is nothing out of the ordinary right? That's absolutely correct.

You see... just like any other boxers, Ippo trained and fought his hardest. He ran until his legs won't follow. He punches as if it were his last. He spars as if it's the actual competition already, and yet he didn't complain about his usual tasks of waking up ridiculously early in the morning for work (he works as an assistant for his mom's fishing boat, carrying baits, rods and other equipment being brought by leisure fishermen), and then runs to the gym to train. Whenever he's being hit real hard by an opponent in a match, he tries his best not to fall and even if he did he always rose up and continue the fight and gives out his best punches he was trained to do.

Now I know that even if we have the physique to take up boxing, we probably might not for our own personal reasons. But what if we think out of the box (err... ring)? Me? I patterned this from my daily routine (which is mostly all about work) and picked up the question and asked myself. I wasn't able to answer it, knowing that my "knees" buckled several times, even knocked out cold due to both pressure and stress (I'll probably include pain as well). Yet I still rose up and continued the fight regardless of who's winning or not. Yes, it even came to the point where I don't even know what I'm fighting for. Theoretically, I'd like to believe we also have our current matches in life as well, regardless of its own unique and tailored nature. I won't name some but you definitely know what I mean. And it's probably up to our own strategies as to how to get by and be "stonger" in our own field.

So, even with this lengthy conversation I'm still not yet able to answer the question. But if you a really good answer to this, please feel free to comment. I'd like to trade notes with you, and who knows? we just might find the solution to everyone's question

Let's talk about my hometown ^^,

2010-01-17T01:54:00.000-08:00

I believe I haven't talk about where I grew up. I'm not really sure whether you're interested about it or not, but in case if you do... well I guess it won't hurt for me to share you the very place that I love and hate on a particular day. Just a disclaimer... Don't expect me to tell you it's exact location for, again I want to preserve my anonymity.

Villa Mendoza is a subdivison somewhere in Sucat, Paranaque City. It's a small, modest and quiet subdivision that is composed of only three streets. I can definitely assure you that you'll never get lost here, simply because there's only one way for you to get in and out of it. If I am to picture our location on a bird's eyeview perspective, it looks like a small dragon fly whose wings and legs are either detached or cut off. And we live just in between its eyes, which is but a five-minute walk from the tip of its tail. (sorry for the small "riddle-me-this" statement. I think I've given enough hints already ^_^'). I tried using Google Maps to find its exact location and for someone who knew the place for so long, it honestly took me a while to find it.

Our house isn't actually grand mansion or anything similar to it. It is a small and cozy "greened" bungalow. I say it's greened because my Dad wanted it toa make feel more at home by planting random forms of flora. We used to have dogs once, but since the subdivision is secure, and the doors to our abode are heavily bolted, we feel we don't need for one (I've always wanted a cat though, but Dad won't permit it. But that's another story ^_^').

Our house built strategically, that we never experienced floodwater from entering the house. In case if you do not know, Paranaque is near sea level, and a network of rivers and creeks "divide" the whole land which makes it more susceptible to floods. when struck by heavy rains. We're blessed that we haven't experienced moving our belongings to higher ground like the others living near the creekside area.

The people at our subdivision came from all walks of life. You'd know it from the way either from their parked cars along the street, how frequent they go outside their homes, or how their houses are built. But all of them are friendly and accomodating (except for a couple of people who wanted no participation on any of the subdivision activities). Kids have the freedom to go out and run along the streets, though that still depends on which part of the subdivision they are playing. By that, I meant the locally-owned Philippine Rice Hounds ("askal" or "asong kalye" in short) patrolling on some parts that happen to be extremely territorial. I'm saying this because even though that the subdivision is small, there are still areas that are unoccupied and you can only tell that by the tall cogon grass that covers them.

I have lived in that area for more or less 25 years now. I learned how to ride a bike, had my first bike accident, bitten by aggressive dogs, fell in and out of love, and grew up with the local kids who now assume the role of drinking and smoking buddies. I have to admit that even though that a small, simple, and quiet subdivision like Villa Mendoza that's so unheard of to most of the citizens in Paranaque city, this location happened to leave a mark on my personality as a citizen of this sort-of place, and my main haven ^_^'

Overcoming writer's block

2010-01-15T17:14:00.000-08:00

Every time I visualize something enjoyable to write on, it suddenly disappears... Don't you just hate those moments when they come? I'm not really a writer, but whenever a good topic pops in my head, I try my best to gain access to a laptop or pc to empty my thoughts off to a blog in the soonest time possible to satisfy my rare creative outbursts. Unfortunately, living on the metro dissipates everything that you have mentally-acquired. Ergo, you enter into writer's block. A temporary mental version of a punch-drunkeness for a boxer.

Since I couldn't bring my laptop everytime, all the time (not because it's heavy or anything, I'm just trying to make my life a lot less stressful from paranoia), here I am, doodling it all off on paper so I can type it down when I get home. Yep. Old school meets somewhat "new-school", if you will. Since I always bring a pen and paper(and a wad of it, mind you) I can always scribble anytime I have the idea. I have to admit that I somehow like this kind of set-up, though I have to admit... it's tedious!

And you wanna know something amusing? I wrote this three days ago, and forgot to put it all in the moment I get home ^_^'

We gotta start again from somewhere, right?

2009-12-26T23:42:00.000-08:00

Wow.

It's been since a while since I last blogged. Funny to say I don't know where to start. Probably an introduction would sound appropriate, right?

Welcome to my Blog. My name is... well, just google it. I prefer to be anonymous at this time. This blog may include rants and raves and things in between. There will be pictures, and (hopefully) sounds that may posted as this would be the things I want to share. I do apologize if there will be posts that I will only only allow a couple of people to view it. But don't worry... Everything that I will be posting in this blog is true as I see it. Consider it as my journal. I hope you can see the world from my viewpoint

I would also like to apologize if I'm not to place anything about me. It would seem fair that giving you the details up front would spoil everything. I would rather like you to read my posts. Then judge me later as to who I am and what my role is in the world.

But just to add some spoilers, most of my entries will be done as soon as the door of my room is closed and locked. I will also be doing some of my entries along the road.

Anyway... just sit back, chill and read. Who knows? I may just make it just worth your while. ^_^'