So far I’ve been working as a Customer Service Representative since 2004. Six years of carrying the huge task of carrying the crap out of people I don’t even have a direct connection with, for the very purpose that you could get by with life’s stress (financial stress to be specific). Individuals like me whose patience level depends on how long and comfortable their sleep was (that, among other things) may not even last a week putting up a poker face and feint a smile and kiss some foreigner’s behind for eight hours each day, every work day.
I guess you can imagine how successful I am with coping with stress for me to last this long, because it cost me a lot to stay on a company, thinking of how and what to do to get by with these… obstacles out of my system. This involved buying a lot of toys and doing worldly (and realistic) vices and every miscellaneous item you could think of, just to keep it on the low for my advantage, that is. That, to which might take my breath away if I keep on with this (I’m not kidding here).
But when that moment arises, one would realize that the pay no longer suffices to stay—thus, one resigns him/herself to the company he/she is currently affiliated with in search of “greener” pastures which, in general truth, follows the same job description as the latter (I may be wrong in this). And the ruthless and ugly cycle begins anew. I guess you can say that through the years my expectations were stepped on several times that I’ll probably hide my smirk and the “yeah right” statement with my poker-faced smiles and nods (please don’t ask who and where I got that from).
To be honest, I never really wanted to carry this job description in my resume for it destroys one’s image and status if he/she enters to a different field of work (let’s say I’ve seen a lot of shattered dreams along the road). 2005 was a year when I was chasing after the dream –the very dream I’ve truly wanted for my own growth. But then my devilish self and I took another dangerous turn and…well, that’s the kind of past I never wanted to go back and reminisce to. All I ever want to do in my life is to work in a field where I enjoy doing. Simply because that it’d be something I’d never consider as a job at all. I know pretty well that I’m being idealistic when I say this, but I’d rather be paid less for the things I want to do than do something that pays me a lot, but my heart is not there when I do it. And it’s rare for me to actually know what I like, mind you.
I’m writing right now because I’m now facing another dilemma—a seemingly simple forked road in my life where, if I make my say now, will decide whether my “professional” family weighs more than my newfound passion. Just like on the previous companies I’ve worked with, where I’ve come across a professional “family” more than just mere office colleagues, it’s a no-turning-back thing when the die is cast. Don’t get me wrong… I’m more hesitant than confused. All I need is time to think and re-evaluate things over. More details on this, I promise you. But for now, I’ll end this entry with a period.
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